Something Beautiful
by feathergurl
Summary: With Sasuke's unforgiveable betrayal the villagers have turned thier backs on him, leaving the young man alone. Will a small book, the journal of his rival, be able to bring him some small sense of comfort and maybe the happiness he's been searching for?


Something Beautiful  
  
-by Feathergurl  
  
The sweet melody washed over him, sweetly caressing his senses like that of the passing wind. Pale hands danced across the ivory keys, the youth's fingers flowing like the sweet caress of water, passionate- unbridled.  
  
The untold sorrow of his heart was so deeply entwined within each note, so natural and pure, just like the snow that fell so slowly from the sky. At the thought, the figure's hands stopped abruptly as the young man let out a small sigh, almost looking longingly out the window.  
  
It was snowing again...  
  
Sasuke Uchiha stood up from the piano bench, his emotionless eyes looking out across the blanket of white that seemed to stretch before him. It reminded him of that time, on the bridge, so long ago...  
  
Dreams had been broken, and created on that bridge-blood and tears had been shed and yet...  
  
"We still managed to keep living, but things only got harder for us. Orochimaru, the Akatsuki..."  
  
The young prodigy silently walked from the room, the memories of years long past returning to him. "I remember the cutting pain of his fangs and how the darkness seemed envelop my soul even more. Soon, I could only watch helplessly as he overtook my being."  
  
Sasuke stared dejectedly down at the ground his eyes blank as he forced himself to shake the memories from his mind, moving to the living room where he sat down to read a book given to him earlier that day by Iruka- sensei. The man had called it an early Christmas present, but he knew that it was a show of sympathy meant to ease the choking coldness and harsh words the villagers had begun to gift him with.  
  
The Uchiha smirked bitterly. At least his fan club wasn't bothering him anymore.  
  
Sighing, the young prodigy opened the cover of the hard, title less book, flipping past a few blank pages only to come to a dated journal entry.  
  
"What the--?" despite his shock and sudden hesitation, Sasuke found himself compelled to continue on, his dark eyes widening as he began to piece together who the journal belonged to.  
  
_March 3rd, 1999  
  
Iruka-sensei gave me this journal earlier today as a gift for my successful graduation from the academy. He told me that I should be careful with it, and never let anyone get their hands on it for a ninja's emotions can be his downfall.  
  
I feel weird writing like this...  
  
Then again, I've become so used to acting the part of the screw up, trying to make the people notice me but not my intelligence that... maybe who I really am and who I act as have begun to blur. I don't know who I really am half the time, and yet I try to express my difference as an individual. I don't want to become an unknown face in a crowd of hundreds. I want to be recognized as a human being.  
_  
_March 4th, 1999  
  
You won't believe what happened today. I fucking kissed Uchiha Sasuke! insert sound of massive gagging here Not on purpose of course, some idiot knocked me into him and made me press my lips against his. I couldn't help but notice he tasted clean, like a river that's cold but cool and refreshing. Weird.  
  
Argggg! Then Iruka-sensei had the nerve to pair me up with him and Sakura- chan, which isn't so bad now that I think about it. Then again, it's not like she'll ever notice me...  
  
My team aside, my new sensei is Hatake Kakashi, a lazy excuse of a Jounin who seems more interested in himself then us. We're to have our first mission tomorrow, so it's probably best I go to sleep now.  
  
_Sasuke skimmed through the entries, his brow furrowing a few times, while his lips twitched at some of more humorous things the blond would rant about. The Uchiha's eyes locked with a very familiar date and for some strange reason he found himself reading the entry, knowing deep down that he was wandering into something very unstable and personal.  
  
_April 7th, 1999  
  
My hand is shaking as I write this, and weirdly enough I feel like crying and screaming at the same time. That bastard- Sasuke, saved my life today. I suppose I was acting like an idiot, running into what I knew fully was a trap, not yet totally aware of what lay beyond those mirrors. I-I just heard him scream and knew that I had to help him no matter what.  
  
Why? Why did I feel that way? Why did he have to save me? Was it out of guilt or a faint sense of camaraderie that made him leap to take those senbon for me? Do I mean anything to him? Could I actually mean something to someone and to my own rival no less?  
  
It hurt seeing him there, lifeless in my arms— listening as Haku told me he was worthy of the shinobi name, who in order to save his precious person had given his life willingly.  
  
Kami-sama...why does this have to hurt so much?  
_  
Sasuke leaned back in his chair, his own mind turning at the questions. He too had questioned his reason for saving the other, but he had never thought it would've effected Naruto so much, and on such a high level. The Uchiha found himself smirking wryly to the empty room, shaking his head as he let out a small sigh.  
  
Why had Iruka-sensei given him this? The journal was Naruto's, what right did he have in reading it? Sasuke silently moved to put the journal back down on his coffee table before drawing his hand back quickly as he looked down at the book quizzically.  
  
"Iruka-sensei respects other's privacy and wouldn't agree to me reading Naruto's thoughts, he even told the Dobe to never let another get his hands on this..."  
  
'So why did he give it to me? Unless the Dobe—' Sasuke's train of thought halted abruptly, his dark eyes widening slightly as it dawned on him.  
  
"Told Iruka-sensei to give it to me..."  
  
At the stunned realization Sasuke didn't know what to think or believe. Why had the Dobe given this to him? What was he to do? Was he supposed to keep reading, and hope that somehow the answer would be found in this little book that could very well hold Naruto's—  
  
"Shit. Shit. Shit." Cursing to himself, Sasuke opened the book with a damming but intense need to quencher the well of questions and traitorous thoughts that had suddenly sprung up at Naruto's questionable sanity.  
  
_September, 24th, 2000  
  
Things are getting worse and everyday it seems to become a bit darker for us all. The seal is taking Sasuke over slowly and now Kakashi-sensei says it's only a matter of time before it completely consumes him, and when that happens, his soul will be devoured by Orochimaru's.  
  
It's like a kick to the gut thinking about it, because even though we've been together for only about a year, it feels longer and it's almost as if I could call them my family. I suppose it's foolish of me to think of them that way, even more so the way think of Sasuke.  
  
Even before this happened, he had smiled on occasion and had at least taken the time to shoot back insults, but now he's just numb to the world. Ever since Itachi defeated him he's been colder and it's as if nothing can reach him. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't want to keep seeing Sasuke hurt like this-but there's nothing I can do to let him know that I'm there for him, even if he hates me.  
  
_Sasuke closed his eyes for a moment as he tried not to drown in the overwhelming feeling of pain and self-loathing that coursed through him at Naruto's innocent words of sadness and confusion. He had been such a fool to believe that what he was doing would give him true strength and power.  
  
He had hurt his teammates- his friends. The only people he would willingly associate himself with...  
  
It was undeniable now. The sadness the boy held within his soul and heart was far too much like his own. Too much like him.  
  
"Naruto..." sighing wearily, Sasuke turned back to the book, flipping past a few pages only to come to the final journal entry, the prodigy's eyes widening as he let out a startled whoosh of breath.  
  
_February, 10th, 2001  
  
I saw Sasuke today, walking through the village and at first I nearly ran up to him but something stopped me in my tracks. I think it was more the shock and surprise of what I was seeing that kept me rooted to my seat. They all ignored him, all of them. Kiba, Shikamaru—the entirety of the rookies...I couldn't do a thing, I couldn't yell at them to stop being such idiots. It was if my breath had been knocked from my lungs.  
  
I hate them, why can't they see that he's hurting?! How can they begin to try and think they understand the torment and guilt that must surge through him?  
  
Who are they to judge us? To think they know who we are?  
  
All my life I've been looked down on because of the Kyuubi, and I understand what it's like to be brushed aside and thought of as nothing more then a subhuman piece of scum. I don't want that to happen to Sasuke, because if I was to be truthful with myself, he's my precious person. I'll do everything to let him know that I acknowledge him as the boy he's hiding beneath that exterior of his. Even though he never did the same for me, isn't that what's friendship is for? To give to those you love without thoughts of self gain, to do it just for the pleasure of the feeling of having someone to hold such feelings for? I love him, and yet I feel as if it's wrong. He went from being my rival, to my best friend and now to a person that I don't think I could ever let go of.  
  
I can't believe I'm even thinking of this. I'm so confused. I'll go talk to Iruka-sensei-I know he can help me.  
_  
The journal slipped from the stunned boy's fingers, falling to the ground as the Uchiha desperately tried to calm his raging thoughts.  
  
The Kyuubi, the villagers hatred—it all made sense now. It explained the others stamina, his endless amount of chakra, his attitude...  
  
With a groan Sasuke leaned back into his seat, shutting his eyes as he tried to think of what he should do. How did he himself feel for Naruto? He knew he would die to protect the other, would go far to save and keep him from harm. That didn't mean he loved the boy though, right? Unconsciously the young man found himself thinking back to the kiss they had shared at the beginning of their journey, searching within himself as he began to remember Naruto's soft lips against his own.  
  
The faint musk that seemed to envelop the rambunctious blond was addicting, his baby blue eyes so passionate and full of life that they could be called sinful. Memories of smooth skin grazing against his own returned to his mind, made the dark haired shinobi flush slightly at the thoughts and suddenly it was as if a flood gate of denied feelings and wasted words snapped. The large torrent of contradicting emotions surged throughout him, unable to be stopped as it tore down the last shreds of restraint he had.  
  
The Uchiha got up from the couch in a flurry as he hurriedly picked up the journal before running over to his coat rack where he slipped on a heavy coat before wrapping a scarf around his neck. Sasuke jammed his gloves on his hands and placed the journal safely within his pocket as he walked out the door, beginning the long trek to Naruto's apartment, mentally trying to figure out what the hell he should do now that he too had begun to realize his attraction for the other.  
  
-----  
  
Naruto ran across his hard wood floors, his knees bent slightly as he used the added speed and momentum to polish the beams to a light sheen. It was too cold outside to train, and this was the next best thing to take his mind off the unwanted thoughts of what day it was.  
  
Sighing almost breathlessly the blond stood up, his tank top rustling slightly as he wiped his brow of the light sheen of sweat that had begun to form.  
  
"Iruka-sensei always said I was brash..." the blond muttered wryly before wordlessly walking over to his kitchen, his well muscled arms hanging loosely by his side. Over the years he had gotten just a bit taller, if not more muscled from his slow but gradual development. He was gaining more attention from the girls, especially now since Sasuke...  
  
The shinobi sighed, stopping his thoughts in their tracks as he returned to the task at hand. Naruto carelessly threw the cloth in the sink and he washed his arms of the disgusting wood polish, absently reaching up for the dish towel as he stared out of the window to watch the falling snow.  
  
'I wonder how Sasuke is... most likely he's planning to kill me after reading my journal. Heh.' Naruto's thoughts were broken suddenly as a light but firm knock came from his front door, causing the blond to blink in wonderment.  
  
"Who be coming to visit me at this hour?" the young man slowly walked to the door, brushing imaginary dust from his pajama pants before opening the door, his eyes widening slightly at the sight of Sasuke before him.  
  
"S-sasuke, what are you doing here?"  
  
The avenger grumbled something inaudible into his scarf before speaking up louder.  
  
"I wanted to talk."  
  
The blond swallowed thickly before nodding his head as he wordlessly opened the door up for Sasuke, closing it behind the other as the Uchiha stepped into his apartment. Naruto looked nervously at his teammate trying to remember what Iruka had told him to do when dealing with guests.  
  
"May I....take your coat?" the foreign words seemed odd on his tongue as he watched Sasuke look at him quietly before sliding his jacket off of his shoulders only to place it in his hands, the avenger's gloved fingers brushing against his as if on purpose. Naruto shivered unwillingly at the light touch and turned sharply to hang the coat by his door.  
  
"I was about to make some tea, would you like some?"  
  
Sasuke nodded tersely, his face cool and emotionless. "Please."  
  
Naruto took the chance eagerly as he scampered over to his small kitchen where he filled the stove kettle with water before pulling down a small teapot, dumping in about two teaspoons of the green tea leaves.  
  
"So..."  
  
Naruto jumped at the soft yet deep voice, shocked that Sasuke had actually opted to be the first to start a conversation.  
  
"Y-yeah?" Naruto turned around to look at Sasuke only to find the other already looking at him, a surprisingly intense look on his face.  
  
"Why did you tell him to give me the journal?"  
  
If things weren't so fucking terrifying for him, right about now he would've been smirking.  
  
Sasuke always had been blunt.  
  
Instead of letting his inner thoughts be known to the Uchiha, Naruto gulped at the words, trying not to show how badly his hands were shaking. "I-I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
Sasuke's eyes narrowed, the other pushing away from the counter as he walked towards Naruto, the blond unconsciously stepping backwards until his back hit the wall. "I think you do. Tell me Naruto, why did you let me read your journal?"  
  
The blond couldn't meet his teammate's eyes as he struggled to speak, struggled to make up some farfetched yet believable lie to cover up his tracks.  
  
For an instant Naruto actually thought he was going to die as he saw Sasuke look at him with burning eyes- his hand reaching up to take a hold of his neck causing the blond to instantly close his eyes as he waited for the pain to come. Something far different happened however as soft lips pressed themselves against his own, Sasuke's hand sliding up to instead hold the back of his neck as he came to press his body against his shaking one.  
  
Naruto's eyes shot open in shock, his blue eyes looking into Sasuke's who were half lidded, the man watching Naruto as a cat would his prey. The blond dared to pull back, trying to move away from Sasuke but stopped in the action as he suddenly realized that he was already pressed flush up against the wall.  
  
Thinking rapidly of something to stop this from going any further, Naruto turned to his shield for some kind of comfort and protection.  
  
"Sasuke-bastard what the hell was that for?!" the blond screeched indignantly, his yells muffled as Sasuke gently slapped his pale hand over the other's mouth.  
  
"Shut up idiot, do you want the entire block to hear?" the Uchiha leaned down to press his lips to Naruto's ear, his breath hot and heavy. "Tell me Naruto. Tell me why you let me read your journal. If you do, I'll leave you alone and we can forget this ever happened."  
  
The blond bit his lip at the whispered words wishing they were for a different reason but instantly felt guilty for the indulgent thought. The blond ceased his muttering under Sasuke's hand and resignedly nodded his head. Sasuke pulled back from Naruto, letting his hand drop to his side.  
  
The hyperactive ninja looked down at the floor, quietly speaking up.  
  
"How much of it did you read?"  
  
Sasuke looked down at Naruto, tilting his head as he answered back simply. "Enough."  
  
'Dam him' Naruto thought, glaring at Sasuke weakly before working up his nerves to speak. "I-I, just thought it would help you. I know you're feeling guilty and you hate yourself for what happened with Orochimaru. You never smile anymore, and it seems like you've died inside."  
  
The Uchiha's listened calmly, the clenched fists by his side the only sign of his anger. Naruto looked worriedly at Sasuke, thinking about possibly backing out of this before things got too out of hand.  
  
"And how do you think it feels Naruto?"  
  
The blond was faintly startled by the question. "I, I wouldn't..."  
  
The Uchiha smirked wryly, finishing the other's sentence. "-know."  
  
Naruto nodded his head, avoiding looking at Sasuke. "Over the years I've tried to understand you, tried to understand your pain and the strength that seemed to motivate you. Yet, it always seemed like you were moving further and further away from me." The blond sighed, leaning against the wall as he looked out the window, drifting in thought.  
  
"I suppose I just wanted you to know that I saw you, and that I was here. I'm selfish because to tell you the truth, I wanted you to acknowledge my existence."  
  
Sasuke closed his eyes as he listened to the soft words, his shoulders sagging as he basked in the pure truth that resounded in Naruto's words. Slowly and quietly the Uchiha came to stand before Naruto, causing the blonde's blue eyes to focus their attention on Sasuke.  
  
"I don't know how you can think so highly of a person whose hands are stained with the crimson red of betrayal. I can't promise that I'll be able to stay forever—I may die in my quest to kill my brother but..." Sasuke leaned down, looking at Naruto eye level. "I'd like it if you'd let me be with you. Don't look too far into it, I just want to get rid of the loneliness like you." Sasuke's voice suddenly seemed to return to its haughty self, the Uchiha looking at him coolly.  
  
Naruto's eyes widened before he smirked. "Liar..."  
  
Sasuke looked at him with a coy, amused expression. "So? What would you do about it even if that was true?"  
  
Naruto leaned up, closing the distance between them until only a few inches remained. "I'd do this." The blond tilted his head up to press his lips against Sasuke's, surprised how eagerly the other responded.  
  
Ever so slowly the Uchiha's hands slid down to grasp Naruto's hips in a firm but gentle hold, pulling the blond to him without another word. Questioningly Sasuke ran his tongue across Naruto's lips, silently asking the boy to let him in, his common sense telling him that Naruto would probably push him away. However, much to Sasuke's surprise and pleasure the blond shakily opened his mouth, letting out a small moan as he sensually twined their tongues together in a steady tempo of attraction and discovery.  
  
The Uchiha was the first to pull back, his hands coming up to cradle Naruto's flushed yet irresistibly soft cheeks.  
  
"Merry Christmas Naruto, thank you for being here."  
  
Sasuke's breath was suddenly sucked from his lungs as the other's eyes opened only to show sparkling tears within the gorgeous orbs of baby blue.  
  
"Naruto what's—" before the Uchiha could say any more the man was enveloped in a tight hug, Naruto burying his face in Sasuke's chest. "Sasuke, Aishiteru."  
  
The Uchiha stared in shock at Naruto for a few moments before grasping one of Naruto's hands as he gave it a firm squeeze.  
  
Naruto let out a watery laugh, looking up at Sasuke as he wiped his tears away. "What are you looking at?"  
  
Sasuke smirked deviously, a teasing glint within his eyes. "Something beautiful."  
  
Naruto blushed faintly, flicking Sasuke on the forehead before resting his hand on the Uchiha's chest. "Merry Christmas to you as well Sasuke."  
  
Quietly the snow kept falling, memories of the past fading into the never ending blanket of white that had once covered a bitter avenger's heart...

AN: okay....I have no clue what the hell I just wrote, it's not even Christmas and I'm pretty sure you hated it to little bits because it's too fluffy and none of it makes any sense....I know that it's awful and you'll all burn me for writing it ;-; (flees)


End file.
